However, this world, being just in theory as a waiting room, brings along with it many difficulties. I realised this myself for the past for days or so. Sometimes life is so perfect and serene that one could not wish nor desire for anything more. And at other times, life can be so hard and demanding that death is not only an option, but in actual fact feels like a gift.
Although, I would not like to extend into details, nor do I want discuss my feelings at this very point… The matter which is important at the moment is that life has not been a comfortable ride recently. I do not complain, for this has not been the first time and I am certain that it shall not be the last.
Now, Alhumdulillah, I am feeling much better and then it occurred to me, during those few days thousands of thought went through my head and were washed down by hundred of tears, that I had not once left living, nor had I given up; I may have desired it, but nevertheless, I am sitting here, which denotes that I did not follow my desires.
The point is simple, where we have the materialistic side of this world; we also have the spiritual side that works in parallel. Just as the body has “ups and downs” in this world, so does the soul of a person feel the same “ups and downs” regarding its spiritual side. This feeling of “ups and downs” is known as “Qabz” (spiritually depleted state) and “Bust” (state of spiritual zenith).
In the state of Bust a person is willing and eager to worship Allah Ta’ala; it is in this state that he enjoys worshiping and being obedient to his Lord. No act or deed is too far fetched to carry out and he is able to carry out that which he has been ordered. In opposition is the state of Qabz in which man is a depleted and depressed state. He has no drive in him to carry out the acts which he has been ordered by his Lord nor is their any enjoyment for his soul in carrying these acts. But, in reality, it is within this state that the true test lies for the servant of Allah; for if he is successful and persuades his soul to worship Allah, despite detesting it and not gaining any pleasure, then surely he has reached fought his desires to a great level and therefore receives an equally high reward.
In conclusion, just as we fight our daily problems without letting the desires to give up succeed, so must we worship Allah Ta’ala without the urge to give up or forsake him, “for indeed with every difficulty comes easiness”.
May Allah give us the ability to worship in every state, be it Qabz or Bust and may he make each state easy for us as the other. Aameen